What now?

Although the daytime seemed to go okay, nightime was a different story. Dave seemed to be extremely restless and a little confused. He was having a very tough time with the BI-PAP machine which is a mask that he has to wear which forces air into his lungs. I told him that he looked like a sexy fighter pilot but he didn't appreciate the lightness of my comment. He fought the mask all night, trying to pull it off and I felt horrible that I couldn't help him relax. The night nurse tried everything including valium and morphine, but nothing calmed him.
When Dave finally seemed to be sleeping, I headed to the cottage for sleep at around midnight, conked out, and then received a call at 3:30 am from the night nurse saying that Dave wanted me to come in . He was difficult to console, and I think that he was confused between dreaming and reality. He insisted that I go find him some food and drink, even though he couldn't have anything. Its an awful thing to feel so helpless, both for Dave and for Me.
At about 10 am my parents came in - it turns out that they thought that I was still in bed at the cottage where they were and they didn't want to disturb me. They didn't know that I had left for the hospital shortly after getting home.
Anyhow, it was great, as usual to have their help and support. We waited to see all of the DRs. He is making slow progress and again meds etc. were altered to try to get the fluid out of his lungs.Dave was told that he could take the BI-PAP off every few hours as he wanted and try to use the nasal oxygen to breath by himself. I think that he is improving with this hour by hour.
Sarah arrived after being in a wedding in Northville on Saturday, and she relieved me so that I could go home and sleep a few hours. Our wonderful neighbors at the cottage saw me pull up and all came out to give me hugs and offer support. Two of these wonderful friends have lost their husbands to heart problems.
I zonked out immediately and slept for 3-4 hrs., heading back to the hospital to meet Sarah and relieve her of Dad-Duty...she does a great job and Dave responds well to her.
So, its 10:30 pm, Dave is breathing on his own for a couple of hrs. Its a lot of work for him and the effort makes him tired. I just decided to break hospital rules and call Brian on my cell phone. I put the phone up to Dave's ear and he actually spoke a little with Brian. It was a great moment.
I am hoping that Dave will get some sleep tonight and that I will get some as well.
I always worry about the night - night nurses are more intent upon a holding pattern than on progress...that's probably not fair, I'm sure that all nurses are different.
Besides, some nights a holding pattern is wonderful, as long as we don't go backwards.
Tomorrow Dave's ability to swallow will be assessed .Hopefully he will be given the okay to have soft food and drink instead of the steady diet of ice chips and tube feedings. He will also probably be having another echocardiogram to assess his heart, and another xray for his lungs.

Each day and night I pray for less fear for both Dave and I, more faith in God's plan for us, knowledge and skill for the Drs and Nurses, and I thank God and all of our friends for their love and support. All of us will have difficult times in our lives, the love and caring of friends and family is what makes it bearable. I have seen so many people here that are in as bad a situation as Dave is,and I pray that they have the same support behind them as we are so lucky to have.

Love to you all,
Melody and DAve